As the name suggests, ‘empty nest’ syndrome refers to the feeling of emptiness that parents go through when their children leave home for work and other reasons. Children grow up and become responsible enough to live alone, they learn to venture into new things and need to step out to meet their personal and professional demands. Parents on the other hand feel abandoned, miss the time spent with their children and this, in turn, can cause them to feel depressed, lonely and alienated. It is not a psychiatric illness but just a term used to denote the condition of parents when the last child leaves home.
As a parent, you want to provide your child with a good education, help them become independent and wish that they prosper in life. This often means your child might have to leave for a boarding school or go to college or work in a place far away from home and this can trigger mixed emotions and become really hard to deal with as parents.
At a young age, children are more dependent on their parents for every little thing, for their meals or studies and the sudden transformation usually affects both the parents.
Empty nest syndrome has three stages: grief, relief, and joy. In the first stage, parents tend to experience sadness, loss, loneliness, or even depression. In the second stage, parents move on to feeling relief and a sense of freedom as they develop a new rhythm of life.
Dr. M.G. Kartheeka, MBBS, MD
Some parents are more susceptible to empty nest syndrome than others. This may be because of having a single child or if your child leaves earlier than what you expected. Some parents may find living alone really difficult and have an emotional breakdown. Parents who have disturbance or complications in their marriages depend on their children and may feel more lonely when they leave. Parents who rely on their parental roles for self-identity and are full-time parents, suffer separation anxiety when their children leave more acutely. There are parents who like catering to their children’s needs because they think their children are dependent on them and when the children leave and capably look after themselves or parents suffering from a mental illness, anxiety disorder or any other chronic illness tend to have higher chances of experiencing empty nest syndrome.
The causes of empty nest syndrome may vary among parents. Some of them include:
Researchers have found that parents and caregivers suffering from empty nest syndrome may experience the following symptoms:
Empty nest syndrome symptoms can be noticed in both parents. The age group most affected with empty nest syndrome is between 40 – 50. However, based on gender a few things may differ. While women may be at risk of being depressed and experience social withdrawal, the father may turn alcoholic or indulge in substance abuse.
Empty Nest Syndrome can even prompt suicidal thoughts in parents. If you seek timely help, you will be able to deal with this issue better.
Marital stress is not uncommon among parents transitioning into a new rhythm with their children out of the house and can often cause increased tension and bickering. It may be helpful to seek professional help to resolve the issues arising due to this situation as it may be temporary but might have a huge impact on the couple.
Dr. Ashish Bajaj – M.B.B.S, M.D.
If you think this situation will last forever, remind yourself that it won’t. Your friends and family will support you during this transitional period of your life. You don’t have to deal with this feeling of loss alone. You must speak to psychiatrists, psychologists and ensure that you get proper help to live in a healthy manner. There are therapies to manage your symptoms effectively and keeping your mind calm and stress-free is the best solution for empty nest syndrome.
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We’re more connected than ever – but are we?
The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved
One is likely to be familiar with the unusually painful and complicated emotional state of experiencing loneliness through isolation, real or virtual.
Loneliness is a universal human emotion but is unique to everyone. It is explained simplistically through the bio-psycho-social model that entails a multi-factorial role of biological (genetic), psychological (emotional state and thinking patterns) and social factors (environmental stresses). There are various examples of such psychosocial factors:
It typically brings anxiety about feeling unloved, unwanted and being unproductive not just in the present, but often extends into anxiety about the future. Not surprisingly, research has shown that one could feel just as lonely when surrounded by people, as much as when living in isolation. This tells us that it is more of a state of mind than external separation. For example, it has been seen in people in marriages, relationships, families and even those with successful careers over the years.
Loneliness causes people to crave human contact, but their state of mind makes it more difficult to form connections with other people.
To be happy, we need intimate bonds; we need to be able to confide, we need to feel like we belong, we need to be able to get and give support. Healthy relationships are key – perhaps the key – to a happy life.
Of course, being alone and being lonely aren’t the same. Loneliness feels draining, distracting, and upsetting; but desired solitude feels peaceful, creative, and restorative. While loneliness exhibited a discrepancy between one’s perceived need for an achieved level of social interaction, solitude is merely a brief and voluntary absence of social contact. In the words of Nikola Tesla, being alone-that is the secret of the invention, the cradle of creativity.
On a spiritual front, the existentialist school of thought views loneliness as an essence of being human. It advocates that all humans are born alone and ultimately die alone, and coping with this realization, accepting it and learning to direct one’s own life with grace and satisfaction is the human condition.
Mental health perspective states that Depression is intricately linked with feeling lonely. It marks a red flag for the suicidal tendency, with an unwillingness to live for others. It can also precipitate substance use disorders due to poor sleep quality, exhaustion or mere means of seeking socialization. At times, schizoid patterns of thought are linked with loneliness, by an autistic regression into a world of their own and evolving into a personality that prefers social alienation over interaction. Loneliness in younger age groups can potentiate destructive behaviors towards self or others and even affect memory and learning adversely, further leading to emotional issues.
When loneliness is chronic (lasting for years) it is linked to increases in cortisol levels (stress hormone) causing anxiety, depression, digestive problems, heart disease, sleep problems, and weight gain, further creating an increased risk of stroke and cardiovascular diseases, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and obesity. It impairs the body’s immune responses, thus increasing susceptibility to illnesses.
When we feel socially isolated, our nervous systems automatically switch into ‘self-preservation mode,’ which makes us more abrasive and defensive – even if there’s no threat. Loneliness makes the brain more alert to threats and the possible danger of strangers, as they remain more active in social situations. This hyper-vigilance to respond to social threats could be rooted in the subconscious, thus attracting more negative experiences.
Because it has no single common cause, the prevention and treatment of this potentially damaging state of mind can vary dramatically. How do we combat this disease? Most doctors would recommend therapy, to understand the cause of the problem, reversing the negative thoughts, feelings, and attitudes resulting from the problem, and exploring ways to help the person feel connected. Alternative approaches include various lifestyle modifications, pet therapy, reminiscence of good old days and indulging in religious/ spiritual activities that encourage socializing and alleviate symptoms of depression.
Be More Social
An essential step towards dealing with loneliness due to lack of socializing is learning social cognitive skills along with social skills training. Results of meta-analyses suggest that correcting maladaptive social cognition offers the best chance of reducing loneliness.
Prevent Loneliness
Like for all disorders, preventing depression & loneliness is better than curing it. While curing loneliness requires one to make a conscious change in life, prevention helps to create positive avenues for bringing about the difference quickly. Education about loneliness, community activities, finding like-minded people, sharing values and ideas with people we meet, having affirmative beginnings to the days, and reinforcing positive attitudes towards relationships are some ways to prevent loneliness from creeping in into our lives.
Also Read: Pregnancy Fatigue: Unraveling Causes and Research-Backed Solutions
Make Time for Yourself
Without great solitude no serious work is possible. – PABLO PICASSO
Steal away opportunities for some time to be with yourself. A significant part of this is turning off the technology. The goal is not to be in solitude all the time either. There is value in interaction and collaboration, but there must be BALANCE. Right now, it seems like we’ve gotten away from this balance and we’re a little too connected.
Caution for Social Media Exposure
A University of Michigan study found that we’re more likely to use social media when we’re feeling lonely. Although it doesn’t necessarily make us feel lonelier, watching people’s lives go by on our newsfeeds can lead to feelings of unhappiness. So instead of logging into Facebook next time you’re feeling lonely, try face-to-face interaction and make a phone call to someone you love. Loneliness is subjective and is not to do with your number of likes!
Please note: This article is powered by Juno Clinic.
Juno Clinic is on its way to be India’s leading wellbeing company in terms of Quality and Reach. We provide a full stack of services including counseling, treatment, and assessment. Our therapists offer to counsel over video/audio/chat. The online platform has been developed specifically for seamless counseling process and high engagement level, which can be used by therapists anywhere in the world.
Also Read: Causes of Depression – The Reasons for Feeling Depressed
Most of us are aware of what is first aid and use it as soon as required to nurse even the smallest bruise. But when we are hurt emotionally, do we make an effort to treat ourselves or seek emotional first aid? Does it need to be taken care of? Well, yes! It does.
We may be shattered emotionally for one or more reasons like loss of a dear one, work-related issues, peer pressures, societal concerns, humiliation, rejection, loneliness and depression, etc. If we are physically fit, but emotionally drained it does, in turn, may affect us physically.
Also Read: Physical and Mental Signs of Depression
It may also lead to loss of sleep, irritability, impulsiveness, loss of appetite, which in turn is going to affect your overall health and performance. This may become a vicious cycle worsening your ability to even think of coping with the problem. Most of the time you may end up making inappropriate decisions.
Rather than letting yourself pass through such an avoidable mental and subsequent physical harm, you can practice emotional first aid like you may be using home remedies to treat trivial ailments. Emotional first aid is simply a method of helping yourself to cope up emotionally to handle the situation positively instead of getting bogged down by it.
So how do you practice emotional first aid? Since each being has a different personality and temperament, the method would be highly individualistic. However, there are certain general means that may help you at some of the other time.
Read more to Debunk myths on mental health.
Thus, emotional resilience is a must and it needs to be practiced as soon as required to live life to the fullest.
Also Read: Pregnancy Fatigue: Unraveling Causes and Research-Backed Solutions
Disclaimer: The above information has been prepared by a qualified medical professional and may not represent the practices followed universally. The suggestions listed in this article constitute relatively common advice given to patients, and since every patient is different, you are advised to consult your physician, if in doubt, before acting upon this information. Lupin Limited has only facilitated the distribution of this information to you in the interest of patient education and welfare.
